So this past week I have decided to start weaning Lucas. He will be one in July and I hear the best way to wean is gradually over about a month so I was starting now. Then a few days ago Luke got sick and has only wanted one thing, mommy's bobbies. So he has been nursing non-stop, not only frustrating for me, but he undid all the weaning I had started last week. So, a little while back when I was nursing I had this horrible pain and I had no idea what it was. I figured out that it was his top teeth scraping across my areola. It was the worst pain I have felt other than contractions. By the time he was done eating my nipple was rubbed raw and was bright red. It is only on my right nipple. So now I have the dilemma of him needing to nurse but only being able to feed him on one side because my other nipple is rubbed raw when he does nurse on the right side....hm???? what to do? Now that he is sick he is nursing all the time, but only on one side , so my right side, I fear, is going to get engorged. i am thinking I might just stop him nursing all together and pump and try to get him to take a sippy of breast milk. The only problem with that is he does not like sippys very much and when he is sad he just wants the comfort of mommy, and, honestly thats what i want to. Nursing Luke has been the best experience, Unlike Levi, Luke took right to it and has gone strong for 10 1/2 months now. I love it. We have such a strong bond from it I know that whenever he is sad or hurt he can come to me and I am the only one who can comfort him in the way he wants and needs. And to be honest, it does the same for me. Ever since I had Luke I have been feeling very different and have been having spells of being very short-tempered and have a very short fuse. I also feel a lot of things that remind me of the depression I went through in high school. So the nursing, for me, has been a healing process and helps me to get away from my daily obligations and allows me to sit in the dark, rock and hold my sweet little baby. It gives me comfort. This is what brings me to my dilemma. I don't want to wean but I feel that I am being forced to. I wish I could talk to Luke and tell him he is hurting mommy and to stop, but I just can't. So now I fear that weaning him will take way something that I have cherished for months now. And I really don't like to see him so sad, which he is when I am being strong and don't nurse him. So today is really bad for me. I am feeling guilt, sadness, overwhelmed, angry, hurt(nipples), and worried of the days to come. If any one has any words of advice, encouragement, or help please feel free to do so. today is a bad day, tomorrow will be a new day.
Tante celli
8 years ago
4 comments:
Erin... go buy a breast cream to put on your nipples when it hurts. I know there is a cream for that purpose. And dont wean if you are not ready. It sounds like you need a little more time. I know i am not speaking from experience, but i feel for ya erin. I` be asking for advice soon enough! Love you.
Maybe you could try a cream as suggested. I must say I am pretty jealous. I never got to breastfeed Sawyer (he had feeding complications when he was first born, has a higher palate so it was hard for him to form suction. And after all of that, my milk never came in) and it's something I have always felt "jipped" of. I think if you aren't ready to wean Luke then maybe it's not time yet. I know plenty of people who wait until after a year when their baby is ready to be weaned off. I can only imagine how it must feel when you nurse your sweet little baby. Maybe try and get that poor nipple taken care of and then it will be easier. I don't have the best advice since I don't know exactly how you feel, but I hope this helps.
Aw Erin I'm so sorry!! Don't worry about what anybody thinks and just do what you feel. If you feel like you need to keep nursing, if it's only to comfort yourself and Luke, Do it! If you feel like it's time to quit, but you don't want it to be too hard on Luke remember you'll have to quit eventually anyway so he'll have to go through a few tough days and then he'll be taking a sippy cup in no time. Don't feel any guilt or anything like that! I wasn't able to nurse and I felt total guilt with Avery over it, then somebody was super sweet and made me feel so much better because I couldn't do it. Anyways, let me know if you need anything at all!
I just reread that and it's kinda scatterbrained... doing too many things with the kids at once! Hope you got the gist!
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